The Stupidest Angel v2 0

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061800325
Format: PDF, Docs
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'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead. But hold on! There's an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) It's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen. Move over, Charles Dickens -- it's Christopher Moore time.

Island Of The Sequined Love Nun

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0748114467
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise - a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.

The Human Santapede

Author: Adam Millard
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780992883898
Format: PDF
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Santa Claus is coming to town...at least, that was the plan, but now his elves have started going missing, kidnapped by some insidious figure in a black cloak, and despite the magic swirling about the place, the toys aren't going to put themselves together. So begins a terrifying game of cat and mouse as Kris Kringle searches The Land of Christmas for his abducted minions, unaware that he is to play an integral part in his foe's plans. Krampus is pissed at Santa after lending him his snowblower and never getting it back. His punishment? To build a Human Santapede long enough to stretch around The Land of Christmas, and at its helm, the jolly fat man himself. Can Santa - aided by his best foreman, Finklefoot - get his elves back, defeat Krampus, and save Christmas before it is too late, or will Krampus succeed in creating the ghastliest single-file organism the North Pole has ever seen? Ho-Ho-Holy Shit, things are about to get messy...

Practical Demonkeeping

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0748114432
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and 'roads' scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets. Behind the fake Tudor façade of Pine Cove, California, Catch sees a four-star buffet. Travis, on the other hand, thinks he sees a way of ridding himself of his toothy travelling companion. The winos, neo-pagans, and deadbeat Lotharios of Pine Cove, meanwhile, have other ideas. And none of them is quite prepared when all hell breaks loose.

Roger Sausage and Whippet

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Headline Book Pub Limited
ISBN: 9780755363674
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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In four long years, 1914 - 1918, the Western Front maimed a generation of young men and women bonded by combat and burdened by duty. Now, through the letters of Christopher Moore's Captain Cartwright, comes an extraordinary lexicon of the phrases and lingo of life at the front. Whether born from the desperation of gallows humour in France and Flanders - 'If it keeps on like this, someone's going to get hurt' - or borrowed from further afield - 'Cushy: comfortable, safe, pleasant. From the Hindustani, khush, pleasure' - wherever he was, whatever he was doing, Tommy invented or borrowed his own word for it. From Ammo to Zig-Zag, this is a fascinating glimpse into the world of our First World War heroes. So boil up the dixie and scrounge yourself some dooly. By the time you've drummed up you'll be slinging the bat like a barber's cat.

Bloodsucking Fiends

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439191492
Format: PDF, Mobi
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Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never thought possible.

Lamb Special Gift Ed

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: William Morrow
ISBN: 9780061438592
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Hundreds of thousands of people around the world have read—and reread—Christopher Moore's irreverent, iconoclastic, and divinely funny tale of the early life of Jesus Christ as witnessed by his boyhood pal Levi bar Alphaeus (a.k.a. Biff). Now, in this special (check out the cool red ribbon marker, gilt-edged pages, and gold lettering) gift edition of Christopher Moore's bestselling Lamb, you, too, can find out what really happened between the manger and the Sermon on the Mount. And, in a new afterword written expressly for this edition, Christopher Moore addresses some of the most frequently asked questions he's received from readers since Lamb's initial publication, about the book and himself. Fresh, funny, poignant, and wise, this special gift edition of Lamb is cause for rejoicing among readers everywhere.

Fool

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Sphere
ISBN: 9780751543957
Format: PDF, ePub
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This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity,. . . If that's the sort of thing you think you might enjoy, then you have happened upon the perfect story!' So speaks Christopher Moore, one of America's funniest and bestselling authors, regarded as highly as classic satirists such as Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. Read Fool and discover for yourself why this book has dominated bestseller lists across the world, and why it has reduced millions of grown men and women to tears of helpless laughter...

You Suck

Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061801984
Format: PDF
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Being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue. And that really sucks.

The House of Birds and Butterflies

Author: Cressida McLaughlin
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0008225850
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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‘With a heroine that you root for this is a sweet read with real heart and soul’ Sarra Manning author of The House of Secrets